The numbers are in and they are somewhat alarming. Recent surveys have showed that 44% of married couples feel that it helps to fight at least once a week and makes their relationship more productive over the long term. Many married people tend to avoid fighting because of the stress that can be associated with it but it seems as if it may not be so bad, after all. Studies have shown that couples who argue on a frequent basis but do so peacefully are more likely to be together for a longer amount of time. They may have a lot of misunderstandings along the way but they are comfortable with the love that they have for each other, knowing it is both sincere and true. Consider the following:
1. Fighting is a sign of maturity in a relationship
It isn’t good to have constant conflict in your relationship but if you can speak your mind without arguing, you may be able to take your relationship to a higher level.
These people don’t yell or attack each other, they look for a compromise and try to keep the relationship healthy.
2. Fighting shows you care
Sometimes it is easier to try to ignore the bad habits of a partner that make you a little crazy. It can end up building up inside of you, however, but if you can put aside the discomfort for a while and have a well-timed argument, it may be the sign of true love.
Arguing may mean that you are more committed but it has a lot to do with how you fight rather than how often you fight.
3. Fighting helps you communicate
It is important not to keep quiet if you want to create trust in your relationship. Arguing is a form of communication and it tends to be honest. It helps with trust, intimacy and learning to communicate in a productive way.
4. Fighting shows a healthy relationship
Some psychologists feel that there are seven key points to a happy and healthy relationship, and it includes arguments. It helps people to consider their feelings and values, and as long as you are non-combative, you may find that it is beneficial.
5. It helps you connect
It really doesn’t matter if you win or lose what you’re arguing, it teaches you something about each other. When you have small conflicts, it can help you learn how to compromise and may lead to a stronger bond.
6. Fighting gets rid of resentment
It is important to stand your ground from time to time to avoid having your resentment grow stronger. Not standing your ground may lead to unhealthy relationships. If you let your negative feelings out, do so in a kind way.
7. Fighting makes it likely you will stay together
Some studies show that avoiding fights is a common reason why people break up. Don’t avoid the sensitive issues, use the arguments to focus on your problems and solve them.
8. Fighting shows your passion
Some couples enjoy the boost and hormones from intense arguments. They know that arguing is a sign of their passion and can lead to a great makeup. Sometimes you just need to let your emotions out.
9. Fighting keeps you from getting bored
Boredom is likely to set in when you have been together for a while so having constructive conflict can add a spark to your relationship. If you agree on everything, it is likely to cause problems and the boredom may make a breakup occur.
10. How to have a healthy fight:
Remember that there is a difference between good and bad fighting but if you have a ‘good fight’ it can help your relationship.
Here are some pieces of advice you should follow to turn your argument into a productive discussion:
Respect each other. You’re both human beings with your own weak points, so don’t hit below the belt and put pressure on the things that might irreversibly hurt your partner.
Apologize. If you were wrong, admit it and say that you’re sorry. This small action won’t make you feel weaker. On the contrary, it will show your partner that you still care about them.
Stick to the point. Never bring up the experience of your previous relationships or your partner’s mistakes that you’ve already let go. You have only one point to talk about, so be precise.
Don’t appeal to third parties. Bringing your friends or relatives into your argument may make your partner feel isolated and disrespected, so do your best to solve the problem on your own before addressing anyone.